Bent
by Xenomania
Summary: It's hard to love someone when they hate you...(Warning, Warning! this a m/m fic! so if you don't like 'em, then go now. save your innocence!)


Bent

If I fall along the way

_Pick me up and dust me off_

_If I get to tired to make it_

_Be my breath so I can walk_

_ _

If I fell down would you pick me up, or sneer at me and remark to your lackeys how clumsy I am? Look smug and superior when my friends rush over to help me up and retort hotly on my behalf? Would you ever know how much I ache seeing you everyday and not be able to run over and fall into your icy embrace?

_If I need some of your love again_

_Give me more than I can stand_

_When my smile gets old and faded_

_Wait around I'll smile again_

If I asked for your love, would you even give me a drop of it? My smile is getting even more fake, with every moment, every heartbeat, and I wonder if you would wait for it to grow genuine, but I know you wouldn't even pause for me.

_Shouldn't be so complicated_

_Just hold me and then_

_Just hold me again_

I just want you to hold me and never let go, but it can never be; we are too different from each other, we are opposing forces. I understand that you loathe me and I feel it is ironic that I would fall in love with you, a male just like me, go figure. 

_Can you help me I'm bent_

_I'm so scared that I'll never_

_Get put back together_

I feel as if you've torn me to pieces. Do you really think that little of me, that you have to humiliate me and shatter what self pride and confidence I have left, and leave me to pick up the pieces with my bloody and aching hands? Will you ever put me back together again?

_Keep breaking me in_

_And this is how we will live_

_With you and me bent_

Will you ever know that you have broken me?

_If I couldn't sleep could you sleep_

_Could you paint me better off_

_Could you sympathize with my needs_

_I know you think I need a lot_

Do you lie awake at night wondering how you'll get through the next day without breaking down? Do you ever wonder what your friends may think of you if they ever found out? Would you ever be able to understand my wants and needs?

_I started out clean but I'm jaded_

_Just falling_

_Just keep breaking the skin_

I used to be clean, but now I'm not able to wash away the dirt. Now I have lost something I will never regain. 

_Can you help me I'm bent_

_I'm so scared that I'll never_

_Get put back together_

I'm scared, terrified, that someone might figure out that I've been bent; jaded; shattered, and it's all because of you. 

_Keep breaking me in_

_And this is how we will live_

_With you and me bent_

Are you happy? Do you know you hold a heart of glass in your unsuspecting hand? Do you know that the slightest squeeze could destroy it? Can you even see me? Standing in the shadows of your life, waiting, _hoping_ to be noticed.

# Start bending me

_It's never enough_

_'Til I feel all your pieces_

I ask this, can you even feel emotions? You are such an enigma to me. Sometimes I wish we could switch places; I scare myself by wishing that I could hurt you like you've hurt me. Take everything you've known and make it fall down around you, turn your world completely upside down, as you did to me. 

_ _

_Start bending me_

_Keep bending me until I'm completely broken in_

I've broken in half. I can't take much more of living like this.

_Shouldn't be so complicated_

_Just touch me and then_

_Just touch me again_

How can it be so complicated? All I want is love from you. I want you to touch me, I want you to caress me, I want to wake up next to you. Tell me how is that so hard to understand?! 

_Can you help me I'm bent_

_I'm so scared that I'll never_

_Get put back together_

I know what I have to do, and that's why I'm writing this down so someone will know, will understand, as you could not.

_Keep breaking me in_

_And this is how we will live_

_With you and me bent_

I ponder what are you doing right now as I write this.

_Without understanding_

_Hell, I'll go there again_

I would go through the nine hells and back again just to see you smile, not smirk, not sneer, but smile a real smile. But I wouldn't know one, truth being said, I can't even remember what a real smile looks like thanks to you.

_Can you help me I'm bent_

_I'm so scared that I'll never_

_Get put back together_

I shiver in the hot summer air; the surreal feel to what I'm about to do is making me dizzy with adrenaline and fear. I will not allow you break me any more. My throat is dry, my breath seems too loud in my ears and my hands are trembling, almost dropping my escape from this pitiful existence. 

Closing my eyes, I swiftly slash the blade across my wrists, the silver blade dyed with crimson drops to the floor. I slump against the wall feeling light-headed and peaceful, as I grip my letter to you in my hands, making sure I don't stain it. I feel sleepy now; I feel my eyes straining with the effort to stay open. I look down at the letter, and whisper,"Draco, I...Love you." And with that finally said out loud, I surrender myself to the embrace of the darkness. 

_Yeah you're breaking me in_

_And this is how we will live_

_With you and me bent_

_ _

Xenomania: Okay, I think I'm officially going insane now.

Seirryuu: Oh please; you've reached that stage long, long ago.

Xenomania: Well yeah, I guess so, anyway did you like this or did you hate it. I would really appreciate reviews and if you want to flame me go right ahead but I would like them to be properly spelled so I actually know that you are insulting me. That's all I needed to say, so see ya later!

P.S. If you can't tell, it's _Harry_ whose saying/thinking/writing this stuff.


End file.
